when we were babies my dad was a stay-at-home dad while my mom kicked ass in the courtroom but he would carry my twin brother and me around with one baby on the front and one on his back in backpacks
and women would come up and look at how cute i was and coo over me and be like “awww how cute wow”
and my dad would be like, “YOU KNOW WHAT’S CUTER THAN ONE BABY”
and then he’d spin around
there was my brother
I love everything about this.
when someone is mean to you
Tweety got that dank kush
OH MY GOD
chill it’s cos your rare
the entire female population of east asia is rare?
homie ur about to be cooked medium rare and sacrificed
this is the funniest post i have ever seen and now i need to start watching this show
I was at the zoo the other day and there was this fucking goose trying to act likE A FUCKING FLAMINGO
this made my day its so adorable
"i can’t eat that, i’ll get fat"
"i can’t sleep in late today i have to do work"
"no i can’t watch a whole season in one go that’s lazy"
an important factual presentation by me
All the facts.
I JUST PUT MY SHIRT ON AND THERE WAS A SPIDER IN IT!!!!!!!!
or did you just put a shirt on that a spider was already wearing?
thats so rude
Every day I struggle between “I wanna look good naked” and “treat yo self.”